


fear is for the weak

by ewagan



Category: Hades (Video Game 2018)
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Character Study, M/M, Relationship Study, Trojan War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-01
Updated: 2020-02-01
Packaged: 2021-02-27 21:35:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22512607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ewagan/pseuds/ewagan
Summary: He must be strong then, for he was blessed by the gods.
Relationships: Achilles/Patroclus (Hades Video Game)
Comments: 10
Kudos: 154





	fear is for the weak

**Author's Note:**

> henlo last week we had distressingly Dramatic Baby Gays(or bis/pans), this week i bring you Very Distressingly Dramatic Underworld Gays. anyone else saw patroclus' codex entry and went oh my g- bc i sure did.

Why does tragedy exist? Because you are full of rage. Why are you full of rage? Because you are full of grief.  
— Anne Carson

* * *

Fear is for the weak. 

He must be strong then, for he was blessed by the gods. He must be strong, he is the son of Thetis, a son of prophecy. He must be strong, a student of Chiron, mastering the arts and war alike, destined for glory, for fame.

He must be strong, as he sets out to claim his birthright, his destiny, bolstered by his mother's blessings upon him, and by the River Styx itself. He must be strong, with his spear and armour and chariot, made by Hephaestus himself.

He must be strong, as he chases glory in the plains before Troy, as they hoist him on their shoulders and pay tribute to him, as they scream his name and call him _aristos achaion_ , best of the Achaeans, the best of the Myrmidons, the man who had driven Troy to its knees.

Fear is for the weak. 

He repeats the words his mother had said to him in the aftermath, in the days after Patroclus dies. 

He must be strong, as he stands before Troy, screaming his rage and his grief as he tears their armies apart, killing kings and princes alike, daring to threaten the gods, daring to defy even fate itself.

He must be strong then, to kill Hector and drag his body back before Patroclus', to make a broken man bow before him and beg for his son's body, to know with a certainty he is to die and still ride out.

How weak he is then, to be this fearful now, of the future, of the past, of all his choices.

* * *

Fear is for the weak, he’d whispered, before he’d found his courage and reached for Patroclus. Fear is for the weak, he’d said as Patroclus rode off in his armour, on his chariot, without him. Fear is for the weak, he’d shouted as he chased Hector around the walls of Troy.

Fear is for the weak, he whispers now as he watches Zagreus set off, trying to defy fate the way he once had.

* * *

Zagreus brings back word of a stranger, a familiar one. Achilles thinks again of those words, of the choices he has made. Perhaps Patroclus hates him now, as he well should. It doesn’t mean he is not pained by the memories, and the knowledge that Patroclus is beyond him again, as he had been in so many ways.

Achilles lived a war, the greatest war there had ever been. He’d flooded a river with the blood of the men he killed, slain men blessed by the gods, even slain a river god. He had near defied fate itself, determined to tear down the walls of Troy. Were it not for Zeus, were it not for the gods, he would have brought Troy down to its knees, reduced it to ashes. All in the name of vengeance, in a fit of rage, all for the grief that would not release him, that holds him even now.

Had he listened to his mother and passed a life in obscurity, would Patroclus have lived longer? Would they have had more days together, a lifetime he’d given up for the glory of a war that had cost him almost everything?

Would he say this is worth it now, to hear his name spoken of in reverent tones, to know that his story will live on, that he will be remembered as the best of the Greeks, a hero of the Trojan war?

Would it be worth the days he will never have now, a life he'd glimpsed briefly in those days between the battles, and now with the rest of eternity in the realm of the dead?

Perhaps it had been his own folly, in the end.

Achilles would curse the gods for their fickleness, their prophecies, their grudges, their carelessness. In that war, he had seen the worst of them, the worst of their faults and flaws. In those years, he’d learned the gods were not to be trusted, quick to anger and insult as they were.

And how careless they were, of those they blessed and did not, much as he himself had been careless of those around him.

It is hard for him to speak of Patroclus, even to a willing listener like Zagreus, who would offer him no condemnation, no judgment. Still, the rage that sometimes flares up, and underneath it, the grief, the grief.

For them, for their choices, for his choices. For his regrets, that even now, they are not together. He has not forgiven himself for taking Patroclus to war, nor his stubbornness, nor the blame he lays upon himself for letting Patroclus go in his place. He had set sail, knowing he would not return home. He had been destined to die young, but not Patroclus.

His pride, that he would not accept the peace offering from Agamemnon, nor would he listen when Patroclus begged him to take the field before they were overrun. His pride, in choosing glory and battle over a long, peaceful life.

The gods and their prophecies. _The best of the Myrmidons would fall at Trojan hands and leave the light while Achilles still lives_. He had not known how deep his fear could be until then, when Patroclus did not return despite having routed the Trojans. How fear had become grief and grief had turned to anger, how even now it weighs on him, even though they are both dead.

He has had enough time to know it is also his fault, inasmuch as he blames the gods for their fickleness, Paris for his foolishness, the fates for making things as such. He has enough time to know that there had been another choice, to remember how his mother had asked if he was sure that this was what he wanted. How young he had been then, and how little he had valued his own life. If Patroclus did not forgive him for leading him to his death then abandoning him to Elysium, Achilles would not blame him.

He would not ask forgiveness, when he has wronged Patroclus so. 

Despite what Zagreus may say, Achilles thinks he knows Patroclus better. They have little to say to each other now, despite the many things he wished he'd told Patroclus before. And much as he misses Patroclus, much as he longs to take Patroclus' face in his hands, to hold him and know that he is well, he is not ready to see him again, to see on Patroclus' face his fears made real.

Fear is for the weak, he whispers to himself, but takes no comfort in these words.

Fear is for the weak. Fear is for the weak.

**Author's Note:**

> kudos and comments appreciated! you can find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/ewagan)


End file.
